Beginnings

Well... here we go!



I have never written a blog prior to this and to be honest, I`ve never really looked at any before. (and I have to say, I`m feeling a little nervous) I am an avid CBC radio listener and after hearing a story about blogging on a radio show called Spark, I realized that I would love to give it a shot. I have always wanted to write.... but have never really had the courage to do so. I looked into what I actually had to do to begin and was very suprised at how effortless it was to get set up. So I guess we`ll see how this goes...



First of all, I guess I should explain a little about why I have decided to write about my career and my life, which are so intertwined there is little room left for distinction.



Next week, I begin work on my next show, after a long summer of unemployment. The show is Tennessee Williams` Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, a play that I have wanted to perform since my teenage years. During a long stretch of unemployment, I spend a great deal of time thinking about my choices and questioning why the hell I work in such a crazy field....no job security, low salaries, long hours and sometimes really hard, hard work!! Somehow, in some way, something happens... the phone rings or an email drops in my inbox, an offer occurs and bingo! - I am inspired and excited to carry on. (Maybe I am a glutton for punishment). I think the simple answer is that simply, I love what I do. It is my hope that through this little blog that I will be able to share that love with anyone who is interested, whether they are just curious as to what the people do behind the scenes or they are considering a career as a stage manager for live theatre.



I believe that there are many stereotypes as to what a stage manager is like and how they should approach the work. I think that many people see the job as strictly technical or clerical in nature. And yes, there are definitely technical and clerical aspects to the job but I believe it is much more than that. I consider myself an artist. I consider the job highly artistic. Hopefully through these writings, I will be able to explain why and how. It`s a funny job... on the surface it looks as if you are only there to protect and administer someone else`s art. And yes, you are definitely doing that...but I think that a good stage manager can apply their own art and vision to keep a show on line without dampening or stopping the process of growth that all productions inevitably go through after the opening night. As well, it takes an artistic eye to understand the intentions of the director, the designers and the actors in order to guide the production through the rehearsal process to the end of the run.



As well, I have already indicated that my life and my career are highly intertwined, and it is not always a happy marriage. So I guess through this blog I will be dealing with my issues and experiences outside of the theatre as well. I will try very hard to keep this entertaining and interesting and not just a forum in which I am looking for therapy. I will also work to maintain the privacy of those I love and those I work with... I haven`t quite figured out how I am going to do this but whatever I decide will be apparent....I might only use initials or nicknames....I am not sure yet.



That said, I guess I should say a little bit about myself. Let`s see....well.... I am Canadian. I am 41 years old (but honestly, I still feel like I`m 21). I live in a fantastic city with my partner of 5 years and our puppy and crazy cat. My hubby, (S will be how he`s referred to) is not a theatre person. He works in the corporate world and has, as I say, a real job. By that I guess I mean that he has things like benefits, paid vacation and somewhat regular work hours....things that I can only dream of. He is French Canadian but speaks perfect english. I am working on my french but it is a slow process and I am very lazy. The one thing that helps is that we live in a very francophone neighbourhood and I am forced to communicate en francais quite a bit. I think sometimes that he thinks I am completely insane working in theatre. He is such a wonderful guy and has been incredibly supportive, especially when work has been scarce and money even scarcer. But he does question why. I think it is hard for him to understand why I live with incredible job insecurity, no savings and in highly stressful situations, but I do know that he respects that this is my passion. It has been a long, lean summer for us as a couple with me not bringing in a regular salary but he has weathered it well and I am so grateful to him. It may have been long and lean, but it was a lovely summer, especially as we have begun the raising of our now 7 month old puppy together. What joy and energy he has brought to our lives.



I never considered theatre as a viable career option for me when I was in high school (and I still wonder if it is really viable on a daily basis!!). I was an incredibly shy kid but came out of my shell when I was cast as chorus and lead dancer for my school`s production of West Side Story. I just loved it! And suddenly, I had really cool friends and felt a part of something. But I never took art classes... I did the productions and my school work but they were always seperate things. I went to college and began a career working with mentally challenged adults and children and later, street kids and sexual abuse survivors. It was challenging and very fufulling work. It was also very, very hard work. After about 5 years or so in that field, I began to burn out fast. I was working with some of the most challenging individuals in that city and it got harder and harder for me to get up and get to work each day. During this time, I had a close friend from my high school days who had followed his heart and was working as a stage manager. When finally I felt I could no longer take it anymore, he suggested that I take a chance...come volunteer for a summer as a production assistant for a summer stock theatre company he was working for and see if I like it. So, I quit my job and off I went. The funny thing was that it was the most troubled theatre company and most of the staff had quit by the end of the season but I had had my taste of the backstage and I was smitten. I enrolled in a college theatre program that fall and began classes in things like lighting, set design but I knew my heart was in stage management. I knew that I couldn`t act or sing but at least with stage management I could still touch the art... still be a part of the story telling. Good fortune was smiling on me... I had applied for a stage management apprenticeship at The Shaw Festival and two or three months into my theatre program, they hired me. So I left college and went to Niagara-On-The-Lake for the next 4 years and received the best education I could have ever wanted. I am a very hands-on sort of learner and I did better here that I ever would have in a classroom setting.



Since then, I`ve been hammering away at my career... I moved to the west coast for about 8 years after The Shaw. It was during this time that I lost my drive.... I was only getting assistant stage management jobs and had some bad experiences...poor judgements on my part mainly and working with some pretty messed up stage managers all lead to this. So, I put my career aside for about 3 years and went back to working with street youth again. The kids were great and the work satisfying to a point, but so hard and just chuck full of government bullshit... I had a major life crisis at this time....my 6 year relationship came to an end, I got involved with crystal meth and basically started flushing my life down the toilet. It was at my darkest time during this period that one of those magical moments happened... I recieved an email from an actor friend of mine that stated he was looking for a stage manager to tour a large, non-professional musical across the USA and he thought that I would be perfect. What was perfect was his timing... I put the drugs aside and did the tour. I always say, cheesily, that that is when theatre saved my life...it was somewhere on some interstate in Texas in a truck filled with set pieces and costumes that I realized what had been missing in my life. Theatre. Simply that. I ended up returning east and have resumed my life as a stage manager. It`s never boring, it`s always challenging and it is intregal to my life. And I feel like I have made my peace with that.... mostly. (I am a bit more optimistic at the moment as I have 3 shows lined up for this season so I know we won`t starve!)



So....



There is the beginning. As the weeks progress, I will try to regularily document my experiences and musings as I enter into what appears to be an exciting theatre season ahead. Thanks for reading....